blessed to be a witness

One final post before I disconnect my computer. I saw Monty Python's Life of Brian for the first time last night. Ben describes it well as "zany." But highly amusing. I'm leaving in the morning, but I'm already anxious to get back to St. Louis. Is that bad? I feel like I couldn't possibly be at this point in my life, yet here I am. Well, here I go... I'm diving in.

Graduation is officially over, but I keep telling people that it still hasn't sunk in. I guess everyone says that time flies, etc., but they do say all that for a reason. I keep feeling like maybe I should be sad about the things I'm losing by graduating, even though I know all the cliches about how much I'm gaining, and moving on to the new/better/exciting. And I am a little sad, but maybe prematurely nostalgic is a better way to put it. I was driving home from the family's hotel at 2 this morning and saw Brookings all lit up and it's just such a different feeling to know that I'm not a student anymore. That I'll really miss walking around campus, but if I did that all the time, I'd be one of those people who just can't let go.

It's been good having the family around, plus friends from high school. And I really haven't had to say too many goodbyes yet. (Maybe because not many are leaving STL?) I've been so incredibly blessed to be here for the past four years, and even more so in the friendships formed. When I titled my blog (with help from Ben Harper), I was thinking along these lines. I am blessed to be a witness to amazing people and their acts of love and courage every single day. The people in my life have played a huge part in who I have become, so thanks for that.

Just a little more moving to do and then off to the beach for three weeks and the oven that is Arizona for another two!

Wow. I feel like I tried on every dress in the mall. But the good news is that I emerged with two that I actually purchased. Hopie and I tried on tons and tons of things searching for Senior Gala attire. So if you're going to it, find me and let me know how you think I did. :)

Today I went to see Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. Despite the annoying nature of Kirsten Dunst, I enjoyed it. I also enjoy going to movies by myself every so often. There was one other person who I noticed was by himself in the theater, but he was talking on his cell phone before it started. It made me think that we've really become a society of individuals who can't stand to be alone with ourselves. Maybe "alone with ourselves" is redundant, but I'm sure you know what I mean. I think I would go nuts if I didn't have time to be alone sometimes.

Dave and Buster's was fun last night... although I think I was ready to leave about an hour before we actually did. And I probably drank more than I should have. All in all, though, a good time. And we had enough tickets to get a poor quality D&B glass for the apartment.

The disbelief continues: leaving for France a week from Tuesday and graduating in less than a week. Also, my family and friends arrive in 5 days. Holy shit. Note to self: cut back on cuss words around friends and family.

I hope everyone has fun on the float trip. I'll probably be sleeping most of the day, but let me know if you're also opting out and need something fun to do. At a reasonable hour, though; like I said, I'll be sleeping in.

I think I'm generally pretty good at handling change. But I feel somewhat uneasy about the next two weeks. Not about having to move because I'll be here and lots of other people will be here. But there are so many others who won't... Hopie, Beth, Eve, Carrie, Sharon, Celishia... I'm going to miss them so much! I think that's also why I'm having trouble packing up my stuff. I don't want to have to say goodbye to my apartment-mates yet, and if I'm packing, it means I'll need to soon.

Yet it's also the first time in four years that I've done fun things or been a lazy bum continuously. And that is a fantastic feeling. Today: a picnic, 2 movies, and a party. Yeah bears.

Tomorrow is the first Senior Week event: "Picnic in the Zoo"
Tomorrow the forecast is: "PM T-storms"
Will I go? Unclear.

Although what could possibly be better than eating wet food alongside wet, furry animals?

Last night at the laundromat there was a guy drinking a beer, presumably while waiting for his clothes. I don't think someone would just hang out there, drinking beer alone. But I guess you never know. Anyway, then he talked to someone loudly on his cell phone, adding in that he was at the "fucking laundromat," then left, with his backpack and his beer still on the table. Awesome. Perhaps doing laundry on a Monday night just wasn't quite exciting enough for him. Go figure. I had a blast.

I think I'm a failure at blogging. I never have anything substantial to say. In addition to that, nothing of much interest seems to happen in my life these days, so even writing about myself is fruitless. Alas.

So even though this might not be "substantial," I'll go ahead and share my first written thoughts on living with two guys next year. Scratch that. On living with two guys starting in about 6 weeks. First of all, I think that Steve and George have more drama in their lives than I have in my little finger. Which could be a good thing. Actually, it could go either way. Either they never tell me about the drama in their lives, so I remain totally oblivious, encased in my own private bubble, and we have completely superficial relationships for the entire year of our co-habitation (is it still co-habitation if there's more than 2 people?). OR they do tell me about the drama in their lives, I in turn tell them about whatever non-problem passes for drama in my life, we grow closer, I become "one of the guys," we drink beer together, and all is harmonious for the next 12 months. I do suspect, though, that all will be harmonious anyway. And the reasons I suspect that are a) I am super-easy to live with, b) I don't get PMS, c) I am friendly to friends' significant others, even if I don't really know them, and d) I am a compromising peace-maker (sometimes a weakness of mine, but when living with others, decidedly not).

Someone asked me what I was worried about living with them. I don't think I'm worried, per se, about anything. What with the walking around in boxers, scratching themselves, belching, and other guy-ish things, it can't be that different from having a brother. It'll be like having two brothers. And honestly, I think we'll have a kick-ass time. If you ever need a couch to crash on, let me know. We've got lots of room. George will request that you bring your own ass-pampering toilet paper, but I'll leave that to your discretion.

today i woke up at 7-something a.m. but made myself go back to sleep because i knew if i got up, i'd need to take a nap later.


i took a nap later anyway.

So I finally did make it to Chicago and I had such a good time! I had two very important and helpful meetings to talk about my next-year plans. And I got to see the Waa-Mu show at Northwestern called "Pomp and Circumstance." Adele wrote two of the songs in it and they were so good! Every year the show has a different theme and so this year's was all about college life. Some of the song titles I especially liked:

College Is Awesome
Tango for the Sexiled
Walk of Shame
My First Time Home
All Male A Capella
Surprise! You're Gay!
George Foreman Grill
Senioritis

I was so impressed. And now it's two weeks until graduation. I have no more work to do and nothing to do with myself. Ok, that's not quite true. But I have even more time than I've had the rest of the semester! Geez. If you want to do something fun, let me know. Here are some of my ideas:

test drive cars with me and Eve
St. Louis zoo
Ted Drewes
go up in the arch
movies
casino outing
Missouri Botanical Garden
make dinner, or lunch, or breakfast
Cards game

Yep, I'm still here. Blasted car troubles.

When was the last time you saw a shape in the clouds? One time I saw an alligator. But it's been a long time. Do you think that we become progressively less imaginative? When I remember the crazy games and stories I came up with as a little kid, it's amazing. Mostly it's amazing that I don't feel nearly that creative anymore. I tried to remember the creative things I have done since I got here. I started making a list, but it was too boring to share. Whaaaat happened?

Post your most creative college moments, and I'll keep thinking of mine.

wtf? It's cold outside!

But aside from that, here is my commentary on my last-ever W.I.L.D. By the way, I have never seen someone actually walk in and lay down. Last night was about par for the course because it rained. But at least it stopped before Live played. Speaking of which, I was impressed with Live. I only have Throwing Copper, so I don't know that much of their music, but they actually sound good live, unlike some other bands. Live sounds good live. Excellent. Also, I didn't see anyone puke, which has put a damper on some past WILDs. Also, Justin stayed with me and we checked out guys (or at least tried to), and he was very good company while I sobered up. All in all, a good time, and I'm sure I will remember this WILD and our visit to IHOP afterwards (including a dead car battery, the guy George saw "jiggling his balls," and locking Susan out of her own apartment).

I'm going to Chicago on Monday and I feel sort of unprepared for the whole trip. I thought my car battery was going to die, but I guess it was a false alarm. So that's good. I get overly paranoid about my car battery dying. It's stressful. Alright, I can't think of anything else to write about. Have a good weekend, friends.